Frantic for Fluffy

Fictitious as usual.

This morning, around 7:30 AM, a rare spotted leopard, a species hunted to the brink of extinction for their appetite for young children, escaped the local zoo and has not been found.
The ten year old leopard known as Fluffy, was noticed missing by James Petronkis of Newmarket, but it took a half an hour for the zoo to even recognize the fact the leopard was gone.
The cage did not appear to be tampered with, the fencing unbroken; nor did its alarms go off at any point in the night. She was last seen when the zoo was closed at 9:00 PM last night.
“I told the guard and he said, ‘Mind your own business,’” reports Petronkis who tried everything including pulling a fire alarm to get their attention. It took the guards a half hour, about 8:00 AM, to recognize Petronkis observations.
Petronkis’ statement contradicts a later statement by the zoo director, Gerry Gurell, at the press conference saying they noticed the animal missing when the zoo opened at 7:30 AM.
“Police cars came from every direction and within minutes they were roughly pushing visitors to the exits…Cops with guns drawn were everywhere. People were screaming…It was mayhem,” Petronkis reports. Indeed, by 9:00 AM, workers and cops still roamed the zoo with assault rifles and pistols looking for the animal.
“If necessary, we will shoot to kill,” says Police Chief William Blair. “We are concerned because this is a residential neighborhood with an elementary school…We got to find her before 3:00 PM. If we don’t, it could be a very messy night.”
“We have no idea what time Fluffy escaped or where she went,” informs Gerry Durrel, the director of the Durham Zoo. “We just don’t know,” he states with teary eyes.
“[Spotted leopards] takes the ‘kill now, ask later’ approach to life,” says Kitty Smith, the zoo’s chief biologist. Smith advises anyone who comes across the leopard to avoid contact, lie on the ground, and remain completely still as the leopard is “extremely dangerous.”
“We have asked the New Hampshire State Police and the state wildlife department to help in the search,” states Blair. “In addition, the National Guard will be supplying five helicopters with infrared sensors. We’re gonna find this cat if it kills us.”